After a post by someone very special to me today on hate, I wanted to make a more positive post.

As Tawny brings up in her post, we use certain terms too much. Specifically, she notes the terms Hate and love. She does a great job of breaking down hate, a term I myself have been using waaay too much and letting myself become incredibly frustrated in recent weeks. So instead, I would like to focus today on Love.

What is Love? There are so many ideas and interpretations of this term that occur in so many different places. We modify it with vocabulary such as unrequited and puppy-dog so that we can qualify it, but is it something really meant to be qualified? Everyone has their own experience of love from falling into it, floating with it, being lost in it, and even just plain out obsessed with it.

Religions try to define it and media has interpreted it for us. Writers have focused on it and more. If you look it up on Google, you get 1) (n.) an intense feeling of deep affection and 2) (v.) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone). Wait…these seem weird. Sexual attachment…so lusting over someone is loving them?

And what about those witty old sayings: Bird of a feather flock together. Opposites attract. Ummm…

Personally, I have heard one person say it well and I recently have discovered this. He said Love is about the big L and the little l. Its about finding that person you can be romantic with and have those deep discussions and talks (not to mention the sex) but also someone who doesn’t mind the other stuff. They want to cook with you, do laundry with you, do homework beside you, and more. Love is about 70%. You are two people growing together and changing, sharing most things (not all) and learning one another. You are those birds of a feather in values and those opposites at times in activities (or smells).

My girlfriend and I went to a candle shop the other day (don’t tell my mom) and were smelling candles. We had nearly nothing in common. I like sandalwood and sage (which she dislikes [i had hate, but she pointed out the irony when I had just tagged her post on not liking hate]) and she likes coffee and vanilla (not my strong points). But we loved the experience and went home afterward to cuddle, watch movies, and light one of those candles.

She doesn’t mind my childish nature (GO SCOOBY!!!) and we can talk about anything. She makes me smile in that way that gets described in 27 dresses as the look on the “poor bastard getting married. ‘Cause even though I think he’s an idiot for willingly entering into the last legal form of slavery… I don’t know, he always looks really, really happy.”

I can’t define love in simple terms, only as a feeling. Bliss, excitement, contentment, happiness, adoration all at once. Call it what you will, but I’m going with Love.


About rigsurfer

A Brother of Delta Upsilon International Fraternity, Inc., Joined in Fall 2010. Completed a B.A. in English at North Carolina State University in 2013 and received a M.Ed. in Higher Education Administration at Texas Tech University in 2015. Passionate about Leadership and Diversity as well as Ducks, Scooby Doo, and reading.
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